


they call me coffee cuz i grind so fine

by Miyukitty



Series: SASOikawa 2017 [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bickering, Challenge: Sports Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2017, Co-workers, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Prompt Fill, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyukitty/pseuds/Miyukitty
Summary: Written for the prompt:Coffee shop au! Cranky supervisor Oikawa & new barista Kageyama. How does Kageyama deal with Oikawa's bad mood, how does Oikawa take out his frustrations on the new barista, and can they both get something out of latte art? ;)





	they call me coffee cuz i grind so fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ryekamasaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryekamasaki/gifts).



> i couldn't believe this prompt when i first saw it bc this is literally just me writing about my workplace, let me vent about training kouhai lol ;;;; ~~and then i almost skipped crossposting it, but, it seems like a lot of people actually enjoyed it, so.~~ it's silly don't take it seriously! 

 

Oikawa lounged against the counter, chin in hand, and gazed down his nose to scrutinize his latest trainee. He was not impressed. 

 

"All right, Tobio-chan, let's see how much you remember today. You're one minute late, by the way. Do try to make it on time tomorrow."

  
  
"I will, Oikawa-san!"

 

Kageyama Tobio, a serious-faced teen with a stiff new dress shirt and neatly filed nails, was hastily tying his mint green apron in readiness to comply. His cheeks were pink and his hair was mussed from his rush to make it on time. Oikawa fought to urge to roll his eyes. His eagerness to learn would almost be cute if he weren't so annoying about it.

 

It was going to be another long shift.

  
  
See, it wasn't like the kid didn't show promise as a barista. On his first attempt with the espresso bar, he'd steamed foam almost perfectly just because he'd watched Oikawa's demonstration with such rapt attention. With more experience, he would definitely get the hang of things around here, just like Kunimi and Kindaichi before him, and really Oikawa had trained just about every barista who worked here by now. Irihata, their manager, praised him for being able to bring out anyone's talents with whatever learning style best suited them. He was confident he could get Kageyama up to par, given enough time.

  
  
But this was Kageyama's first job _ever_.

  
  
He was a test of Oikawa's long-suffering patience. He couldn't memorize anything on the menu ( _"it's pronounced cap-uh-chee-noh, Tobio-chan, how have you never heard this word before"_ ), didn't even drink coffee let alone know anything about it ( _"why did you apply for this job when all you drink is plain milk"_ ), and was a complete disaster when it came to dealing with actual human beings ( _"the customer is always right, Tobio-chan, I do not care who started arguing first now give them the croissant or so help me I will put you on mop duty for a month"_ ).

  
  
Oikawa would be stuck babysitting the rookie until he developed the basic social skills necessary to run a cash register. In other words, for the foreseeable future.

  
  
Oikawa lazily stretched an arm toward the machine without adjusting his slouch, and pressed the button to pull a shot. Kageyama's eyes were trained on his hands like a puppy watching a tennis ball being waved in the air. Kageyama seemed like the kind of dog that would single-mindedly chase the ball right into a ditch or a lake without noticing. The mental image cheered him a little.

  
  
"Please name the three identifiable parts of an espresso shot for me," Oikawa asked with the smooth, polite tone he reserved for customers and idiots.

  
  
Kageyama squinted at the shot glass as the machine rumbled to life. His focus was so intense, it looked like he was trying to make the glass tip over with his mind. The nutty aroma of coffee beans filled the air as the shot glass quietly filled with dark amber espresso. The last few droplets landed with a satisfying plink, and the machine fell silent.

  
  
"Well?" Oikawa prompted, studying his manicured fingernails. He wondered if he could get away with playing games on his phone while he kept Kageyama busy washing dishes or something. It wouldn't be hard.

  
  
Kageyama's scowl deepened, brows furrowed with concentration. The glass did not, however, respond to any attempts at telekinesis, nor did it reveal the answer he was looking for.

  
  
"…Caffeine," Kageyama attempted.

  
  
Oikawa pointed at him and flashed him a grin. Kageyama squared his shoulders, eyes shining hopefully.

  
  
"Incorrect!" Oikawa chirped brightly.

  
  
Kageyama deflated, corners of his mouth pulling into a sulky frown.

  
  
"Oikawa-san, can you teach me how to do latte art?"

  
  
Oikawa scoffed. He settled a hand on his hip, and cocked his head to one side, channeling the sassiest expression he could muster.

  
  
"You don’t know any of the basics yet. Name three drinks without looking at the menu."

  
  
Kageyama's eyes automatically darted to the menu board before he could help himself.

  
  
"Failed step one," Oikawa announced. "All right, tell me what non-dairy milk alternatives we offer to customers."

  
  
Kageyama's gaze narrowed.

  
  
"That's a trick question. All milk is dairy."

  
  
"How many shots in a _doppio espresso_?"

  
  
"Three. No. Two. One?"

  
  
"What are the ingredients in _café au lait_?"

  
  
"Café. I mean coffee. And espresso."

  
  
Oikawa heaved a dramatic sigh and made a show of rubbing his temples.

  
  
"Wrong, wrong, wrong. What am I supposed to do with you, Tobio-chan? You have to study harder if you want to keep working here. Do you expect me to keep holding your hand forever?" he whined.

  
  
"Teach me how to do latte art," Kageyama blurted. "Yours is the best. I want to practice with you."

  
  
Oikawa scrunched his nose in disdain. His one-track mind was ridiculous. Oikawa was beginning to suspect this was the only reason Kageyama applied to become a barista. How annoying.

  
  
"I don't feel like it," Oikawa announced pettily, and stuck out his tongue. "We're going to be on the register all afternoon and you're going to memorize everyone's orders and you're going to smile the whole time. A _real_ smile, Tobio-chan, the kind that earns tips instead of making children cry."

  
  
Kageyama didn't say anything aloud, but his constipated expression said it for him. He fidgeted for a moment, shuffling his feet against the tiles as he worked through how to protest without Oikawa finding further delight in his suffering.

 

Oikawa waited, smiling too pleasantly as he tapped a finger against the counter.

  
  
Kageyama settled into a quick bow. "I'll do my best, Oikawa-san," he promised formally.

  
  
Oikawa perked up.

  
  
"Good start," he preened. "Maybe in between customers, I'll let you make a drink for me. I'm going to need a lot of caffeine to get through today. A _lot_."

  
  
He brushed past Kageyama, choosing to ignore the way his protégé brightened and trailed at his heels like a hopeful puppy. It was almost cute, a little. If only he weren't so annoying at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> Oikawa's latte art is indeed [the best](https://www.instagram.com/dicklatte/?hl=en)


End file.
